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Tears stream down
The poker face I show

They ask me how I am
I tell them "I'm fine."

But on the inside,
My mind rages in that lie

They give me a worried face
That I just can't place trust on

Would they even understand?
No. No, I know they wouldn't...

I wish I could stand up and say it
Tell everyone what's wrong...

That I'm not all right.
I'm not doing okay.
How I'm not so peachy.
About how I AM NOT FINE.


And yet,
As I type this,
Another tear
Rolls down my cheek

I don't even frown
Or give a move to my eyes

I sit here
Trying to put up
A lying image

Just waiting
To be asked
"Are you okay?"
Just so I can answer:

I'm (not) fine.
Tally Six...
There's a chance I'm going to have two separate tallies.
One set for those I've saved,... And another set for those I've lost...

The butterflies are dying fast and I don't know how much longer all of us involved can hold on before I lose a tally.

(I've never cried this much - let alone in school. No matter what the tears won't stay... Nobody is asking me anything now, they're trying to ignore me but they keep tossing over glances... I'm not okay right now... But hopefully by the time most of you read this, I'll be back to lying to myself about how everything is fine... And of course, this is influencing the bipolar, and I can feel emotions spinning already.)
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:iconbludragon123:
Bludragon123 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh my god. This is me.
Reply
:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:/ :hug: Those are moments are just so... My vocabulary doesn't have a word to describe it.
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:iconbludragon123:
Bludragon123 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I thank you for writing this. It really hit me hard
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well, reaching to others through words is what I try. :)
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:iconbludragon123:
Bludragon123 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're doing a good job :)
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
I can understand why you lie. You don't want to worry other people and you also want to convince yourself. Am I right? :hug:
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah... Pretty much. In class specifically, it's just nobody's business, but to the people close that I say it to... Yeah. That's exactly it.
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
I understand it all too well. The "I'm fine" is the lie I tell most often...
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:iconsunflowergirlgraphic:
SunflowerGirlGraphic Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Student General Artist
You look like you need a :hug:
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I did... Thank you.
*hugs back* :hug:
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:iconsunflowergirlgraphic:
SunflowerGirlGraphic Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student General Artist
I hope you're feeling better? :hug:
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
By now, yes. Yes I am.
A LOT better.
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:iconsunflowergirlgraphic:
SunflowerGirlGraphic Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Student General Artist
That's good! :D
Reply
:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconwicked-hp-disney:
Wicked-HP-Disney Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey.. You ok?
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm doing better now. I had a bit of a rough morning, though...
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:iconwicked-hp-disney:
Wicked-HP-Disney Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry about that... That really sucks
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:iconlmw-the-poet:
LMW-The-Poet Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
On the bright side, I feel a lot more okay. :)
(But thanks for originally asking. :meow:)
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:iconwicked-hp-disney:
Wicked-HP-Disney Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Good... I'm glad
Reply
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February 10, 2014
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